The Nominal Hero, chapter 8: The Revolution Will Not Be Randomized
“That was brave,” Mushroom said. Ruth shook her head uncomfortably. “No, it was. Not everyone would run toward danger, not knowing what it might be.”
“Well, whatever,” Ruth said. “Does somebody want to tell me what it actually was?”
Masami and Hunter did most of the explaining, interrupting each other often as they told her about the fish and Duck’s “adventure” and the witches. They skipped over the fight, which Caden was grateful for. Brave, he thought. Ruth was brave. He’d run away. He hadn’t thought of trying to stop the witches from whatever they were doing. He’d only wanted to get out of the circle and as far from them as possible. Is he too cautious or is he too bold? the witches’ chant taunted in his head. Cautious wasn’t strong enough. Cowardly was more like it, he thought, furious at himself.
“--and then Mushroom poisoned the mouse helium--”
“Mycelium, stupid--”
“No, it’s mouse helium cause there was only one of it, that’s the whole point--”
“Anyway they poisoned it and the circle went up like fwoosh! and we got away, and here we are.” Masami was grinning broadly. “Isn’t it amazing?”
“Oh, it’s definitely that,” Ruth agreed. They were coming out of the trees now, onto the dirt lane that wound its way past tool sheds and dumpsters to end up at Rutherford Junior High’s rear parking lot. In better weather it was where some of the kids hung out between classes, even though it was technically outside the school grounds and therefore off-limits. Caden wondered suddenly if Ruth was going to be in trouble.
At the moment, the lane and the parking lot were empty of students, though the lot held more buses than was usual for mid-morning. A police car swung into the lot, dropped off a couple of teachers, and drove off again in the direction of the elementary school. There were a few other emergency vehicles parked here: another police car, a couple of city maintenance trucks, a panel van with Wildlife Conservation Services stamped on the side.
“Oh no,” Hunter moaned. “They did send the zoo.”
“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Ruth said. “Apparently some of the fish that washed up in the flood turned out to be endangered species. My science teacher’s all excited about it. He thinks they’ve been breeding in the sewers. So before they can even start cleaning up, they’ve got to get, like, aquarium trucks in and make sure all the fish get sent somewhere safe. No school for you guys for a bit, I guess.” She sounded envious.
“Sweet! Party at Caden’s place!” Masami exclaimed.
Ruth shook her head. “Nuh-uh. You guys need to go find your teacher and tell her you’re not missing.”
“We’re going to be in so much trouble,” Hunter said. He sounded almost pleased, as though being right in his predictions of doom was worth it.
“Just say you got lost,” Ruth advised. “You’re little kids, you can get away with that. Wish I could.”
“We’re not little kids!” Caden protested. “We’re eight!” And we’re probably going to have to fight a battle, he added silently, but didn’t say it aloud. Several things had suddenly come together in his head, and he had an awful feeling he knew why the witches didn’t seem to fit in with the rest of the Nouns he’d met, and what was going to happen next.
Caden was silent and subdued as Ruth delivered the three boys to Mrs. Appit. He was silent as Mrs. Appit lectured them on not wandering off, and didn’t even say anything to Hunter when they didn’t get in further trouble. He waited in the junior high school gym with everyone else, scarcely noticing the bustle and noise around him. It took him awhile even to register that Mushroom and Duck had gone--with Ruth, maybe? He wasn’t sure. The witches’ chant kept drumming in his ears. What’s the new world he will make of the old?
What sort of new world had he made already?
He was very much afraid he knew.
Mrs. Appit had to call his name three times to get his attention. “Your father’s here, Caden,” she said. “You’re dismissed for today. Please tell him the office will send updates as soon as possible.” Her usual annoying serenity seemed ruffled. Another time, Caden would have enjoyed that.
He was quiet on the brief car ride home. Paz talked enough for both of them, eagerly describing the fire alarm and having to walk to the junior high with her kindergarten class. “And we didn’t even hold hands crossing the street and all the cars stopped for sixty-teen hours and we walked across!”
Their dad was still in the middle of his workday, and didn’t comment when Caden retreated to his bedroom. Ruth, of course, would be at school until the usual time. Caden would have liked to talk with her, but he didn’t think he should wait that long. People could get hurt. Well, Nouns. Well, Nouns were people, he was pretty sure.
He put on the glasses. Strange, really, how natural it felt by now. He said: “Bookshelf.”
It wouldn’t have surprised him much if a dozen Bookshelves had materialized, but there was just the one, in a red t-shirt and matching glasses, holding a clipboard, looking startled.
“Listen,” Caden said, his voice low and urgent. “I think things have gone wrong, and I think it’s sort of my fault. Remember what you said about immaterial Nouns like Justice or Nightmare or whatever? About how I should never call them up because it was dangerous? The thing is, I’d forgotten at the time, but I think I already did. Call them up, I mean. Before I called you, I was in the bathroom with Ruth, and I thought, we need a Science Head to explain all this--and--”
He trailed off in confusion, because Bookshelf had turned away and was poking at his bedside lamp.
“This is amazing!” the Noun enthused. “I’ve never seen definition like this! How did you make it?”
“Um,” Caden said. “Were you listening to me at all?”
“Yes, yes, things are bad, immaterial Nouns are dangerous, everyone knows that, but where did you get this lamp?”
“I guess my mom bought it in a store?” Caden was thoroughly confused now. “Bookshelf, you were here yesterday, don’t you remember?”
“Never been here in my life,” Bookshelf said cheerfully. “I spent all yesterday in my studio. Do you think your ‘mom’ would show me this ‘store’?” They made air quotes with their fingers.
“Studio?” Caden repeated.
“I design furniture,” Bookshelf explained.
Caden sat down heavily on his bed. This wasn’t his Bookshelf. Of course.
The wise old mentor in books is never around for the final battle, he thought. The hero always has to face it alone. Of course I can’t get Bookshelf back.
“Are you all right?” asked--well, Bookshelf, of course. Their head looked exactly the same. But then, all the Mushrooms had been identical too.
“Fine,” Caden said dully. “You can go if you want.”
“Oh.” Bookshelf looked disappointed. “All right.” They turned reluctantly toward the door.
A thought struck Caden. “Wait,” he said.
“Yes?” Bookshelf said eagerly.
“Can you tell me about your world?” Caden asked. “Just--what’s it like? Is it, you know, pretty good?” What’s the new world he will make of the old?
Bookshelf said down beside Caden on the bed. “It’s a bit scary sometimes, to tell the truth,” they said. “I mean, most of us just want to live our lives, and really most of the time you can, but then all of a sudden you’re pulled into a wizard’s army, or your house is being knocked down so they can build an electromagnetic cannon on the site, or a bit of magical backwash turns you into a cryptoad, or someone’s giant robots get out of control and try to stomp you flat. I think a lot of us would escape if we could, but there’s nowhere to go, really. The world’s not big enough for science and magic to coexist, and the war between them has pretty much reached every corner of it.”
Caden nodded. It was pretty much what he’d feared. “One more question,” he said. “How long has it been like this?”
“Always,” Bookshelf said.
“Okay, one more one more question,” Caden said. “Had it always been like this yesterday?”
Bookshelf blinked. “Sorry?”
Caden sighed. His Bookshelf would have understood. You can change the past, they’d said. When you call up new Nouns, after a few hours they’ll have always been around. And yesterday, not realizing what he was doing, he’d put on the glasses while Ruth was still fiddling with her spiked hair, and he’d called up Science, and he’d called up Magic, and now they’d been fighting a war for the Nouns’ world since always.
And he was going to have to fix this. But how?
The answer seemed obvious: pick a side, and fight.
“Listen, can I go?” Bookshelf asked. “I’ve got to get home and do some sketches. I don’t suppose you’d let me take this lamp? No, I guess not. Doesn’t matter. This is going to change the world of furniture design!”
“Great,” Caden said. “That’s great.”
He watched Bookshelf vanish, and lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling, and didn’t know what to do.
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